Our Dog Has Become Our Marriage Counselor

My husband Randy and I have been seeing the same couple’s therapist for years. She’s adorable, fluffy, but doesn’t take insurance. Strangely, she also never utters a word. Instead, when we make progress, she wags her tail. Yes, our little Yorkie terrier is the best family psychologist we’ve found, for 5 great reasons…

She models unconditional love – Libby doesn’t care how much money we make, whether we’re in tiptop shape, or what we can do for her career. She loves Randy and I both—madly. She shows it with daily jumps to our laps and wet, sloppy kisses (I never said she was professional). She asks often for a group hug where I pick her up and Randy embraces us both. Libby teaches us that love is about being there, day after day, during the good times and the bad. Love is about showing up.

She uses non-verbal cues – Libby has taught us that words aren’t always needed. In fact, sometimes they get in the way. A pat, a nudge, or a snuggle can convey more than a thousand, “I love you’s.” Sometimes Libby will watch when Randy and I are talking. She’ll jump from one to the other as is to say, “Okay, now it’s your turn to speak. What do you think about that?” In Libby’s own silent way, she directs our conversation and makes sure everyone has a turn expressing themselves.

She encourages playfulness and laughter – Libby loves making Randy and I chuckle and what marriage doesn’t need more of that? She teaches us not to take life—or ourselves—too seriously. Sometimes when we’re both playing Fetch with Libby as she fervently runs after one of her toys, I feel whisked back to the early days of our marriage. Laughter brought Randy and me together. It’s nice returning to those fun, carefree times, courtesy of Libby.

She teaches empathy – If Libby isn’t feeling well, we nurture her together. One time she had to get ACL surgery on both back legs. She was out of commission for weeks, not able to move, needing constant pain relief. Randy and I took turns feeding her, giving her medicine, and making her feel comfortable. Libby was like our child. The experience reminded me that we’ve always shared a great love of animals.

She’s great at conflict resolution – If Randy and I are having too heated a discussion, Libby looks worried. “Oh Libby, we’re not really fighting,” Randy will say, taking my hand. “See? We love each other.” Libby appears relieved. That’s when Randy and I look at each other and smile. Funny, we weren’t holding hands while we were squabbling over who has to take out the garbage But here we are. Thanks to Libby, we’ve been stopped mid-fight.

Yes, Libby wears many hats in our family—guardian, comedian, four-legged vacuum cleaner. Who knew marriage counselor would be included? And though she never utters a word, Libby still speaks volumes.

Do you have a pet who helps your relationship? Comments are always welcome and if you’d like to receive posts by email, just press here.