5 Cool Things I Wish I Knew in My Twenties

Let’s face it: most of us were at the height of youthful beauty in our twenties—those flawless faces, luscious hair, and toned waists. And yet, why were those years also filled with such angst and uncertainty? Alas, valuable lessons come with age. Here are five I wish I knew at 23.

You Might Not Be Who You Think You Are — Very few people truly know themselves in these early years—medical students come to mind, as the exception. But for most of us, self-discovery is a long journey. I believed I was a hard-driving career woman in my twenties, out to conquer the corporate world. Instead, I was the sensitive artsy type who ended up feeling stifled in that realm. It’s essential we give ourselves time to discover our gifts. Let life reveal its secrets and see what attracts us.

Appreciate Your Young Body – I often see young women—and sometimes, men—striking pouty poses for selfies, gazing into mirrors with unabashed vanity. At first, I wanted to roll my eyes. Focus on the world, I wanted to say, instead of your flat stomach. But then I thought… go for it. Why not enjoy this perfect, 20-something year-old vehicle? I know, you’re still youthful in your thirties and forties, but young, ripe adulthood is fleeting. Go ahead, capture it for posterity.

Your Weaknesses Are Your Strengths – In the business world, I envied people who were tough and unyielding—those who could confidently run a meeting or deliver a presentation. I believed that my own sensitivity, sometimes leading me to tears—whether from a cruel boss or even joyful moments—was a liability. But over the years, I learned that sensitivity, is also a strength. I know many gentle souls who are full of empathy and kindness, but not afraid to stand up to the injustices of this world. How much better this planet would be with more of them.

Take More Risks – Looking back, I realize I lingered too long in several jobs. Time passed and I found myself bored and jaded. I also failed to speak up when I should’ve, too shy, and like many women, not socialized to ask for what I wanted. I should’ve taken more risks—requested that raise, pursued that promotion, or gone after that job in Manhattan. Instead, I sat back, waiting for everyone to read my mind or for circumstances to change with little effort on my part. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Define Success Differently – I understand how hard it can be in your twenties, watching so many of your peers climbing those various ladders. With time, however, my definition of success evolved. Rather than berating myself for not being on the short list for the Pulitzer Prize, I now cherish the small moments of being a writer: getting lost in words, feeling my Yorkie sleeping on my lap as I type, and sharing thoughts and feelings with fellow writers and bloggers. These small moments give me the most happiness, and make me feel successful.

There will always be lessons to learn. Even if someone had shown me this list back in the day, I likely would not have believed it—after all, much of life is learning the hard way.

Though I still get angsty and uncertain—almost 50 years later—I’ve learned to be gentle with myself. And maybe that’s the greatest lesson of all.

What would you tell your twenty-something year old self? Comments are always welcome, and if you’d like posts sent to your inbox, just press here.  Thank you!