What Would Joyce Do?

 

The other morning, I came to my kitchen desk and found a picture of my Texan mother-in-law, Joyce, who passed away five years ago. My son Paul had put it there while rummaging through some papers. The unexpectedness of seeing her got me thinking. What would my pretty, dark-haired mother-in-law say about the pandemic today? I imagine her giving three pieces of advice…

Eat well – Joyce was a wonderful cook, whether making asparagus with Hollandaise sauce, a comfort meal of meatloaf, or her trademark Texas chili. Once during the Connecticut blizzard of 1978, when Randy and I were still in college, I stayed in their Westport home for several days. I remember big pots of homemade soup and Joyce’s Lime Chicken. She always had a fridge filled with cheese, fruit, and wine.

Later, when she came to visit Randy, me and our sons in Connecticut, she’d bring loads of Texas barbecue, See’s chocolates, and southern Praline candies. Even picking us up from the airport was a food event: there was always a big tin of devilled eggs, little bags of Fritos, and cold soda.

I picture her reminding us how food not only nourishes the body, but the soul. Make sure there’s plenty and its good.

Be kind to yourself – Joyce loved all things beautiful. In the winter, when she lived up north, she’d sit in a cozy chair by the fire with her favorite book and soft, beige moccasins. In the summer, she’d pull a chair into the shade and have toast, coffee, and OJ on a tray each morning, listening to the blue jays and reading the paper. She loved the softness of cats, stylish restaurants, French manicures, cool, bubbly glasses of champagne, and hummingbirds.

She never missed church or football games on Sunday and wasn’t above the occasional bucket of KFC. She always surrounded herself with people and things that made her happy.

I can almost hear her Texas twang: “Take care of yourself. That comes first.” I knew what she meant. This way you find strength for her next piece of advice…

Help others – Even in her 80’s (and sometimes ailing) Joyce served as a lay pastor in her church. Before she died, Houston cited her as one of the city’s top volunteers. One of her last jobs was as a hospital chaplain. There she’d pray and comfort those sick or their worried families. In her Rice University neighborhood, she was always ready with a casserole or care package for someone in need.

I thought of her the other day when I read yet another story of struggling families in our area. I’ve always been big on donations but find myself wanting to do more. I looked up a local food pantry and will make a point of bringing whatever they need as often as possible. Somewhere, I picture Joyce smiling.

Funny, sometimes it’s not till someone’s gone that you realize how they changed you, in big and small ways. Seeing Joyce’s photo on my desk made me realize how much she had given to our family and many others. Randy and I still try to live up to her example.

 

Do you have an inspiring family member? Comments are always welcome and please share, if inclined.

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